MAKE ME ANOTHER BOILER MAKER

TWO REASONS THE MEGA RAMP IS MEGA STUPID

one: the roll-in. bob's isn't as bad as previous mega ramps that have all relied on a 200 story, 80 degree drop in, but the result is the same: YOU GO DUMB FAST. as clyde would say.


two: the take off. apparently, by the time you get to this point, you're going somewhere around 50mph. which seems way too fast (for a pussy like me), yet at the same time doesn't seem fast enough to make this gap. i don't know if it translates in this picture, but it's a lot further than i had previously thought. and on bob's the landing is actually higher than the take off, so you're launching at a wall. i was told this makes the landing a little softer and smoother. or "the slam" as it would be in my case.


i opted not to skate the mega ramp. instead i sucked on bob's fruity balls.

CRADLE TO CRADLE

i just finished cradle to cradle by william mcdonough. very interesting book about design, sustainability and other hippie shit. one of the premises is that recycling is all fine and good, but it amounts to nothing more than being "less bad." most recycling, paper for instance, amounts to nothing more than a delay in the material's journey to a landfill. and in the case of paper, a lot of energy and chemicals are used in the recycling process. so this book and all of its pages are made out of space age polymers and resins. it's plastic basically. no trees, no paper. and thus waterproof. and when we're done with it, it can be melted down and the materials (which contain no carcinogens or harmful chemicals) can be used to create another book. which can, in turn, also be melted down and recycled into yet another book without any reduction in quality. interesting stuff, but will it go the way of the tofu dog?

MR. DAVID YOW

david yow's new band QUI opened for big business at our local eagle rock bowling alley. while i really enjoy qui and their music, i'm most happy when david does a jesus lizard song.


dale crover was there as well and he got up on stage with coady and jared of big business to knock out a couple songs.


jared, skot from 400 blows and pat duffy outside the bowling alley where the dirty smokers hang out. i don't know who the fellow on the left is. but he is the closest to chinese food.

NJ SKATESHOP 2.0

nieratko is starting his own empire. he has opened another shop. NJ SKATESHOP will be the next zumies. the next pac sun. look for it at a mall near you. or you can go to his website and find out where this place is.

COCK TALK WITH NATE SHERWOOD

yes, ole nate sherwood. we've always loved him. how can you not love the guy? he was stoked when we asked him to be on the cover of "the kook issue." only nate could be stoked on that. and as we tried to say in that issue, the best thing about skateboarding isn't how similar we are, it's how different we all are. and nate's about as different as they get.

How high can you ollie/breech?
Up to my belly button on flat. That is how I measure when I go to ollie over something like a jersey barrier etc.

How high can you pressure flip?
Li’l over knee on flat , under hip etc. Yo but still it gets its pop. If it is off a wedge then hella hi like traffic candle stick hi.

Do you prefer fresh water or salt water?
Shepherds of the sea all like salt. Saving Whales is a great thing go Google “Sea Shepperds.” great group.

If you were a marine creature, what would you be?
Blue whale. Not by Japan, though. No thanks to their death star boats killing me.

If you were a whale, what kind of whale would you be?
Killer maybe, or above.

Have you ever caught a fish? What and where?
No, never have. I hate killing. I do it enough when I run over an ant skating.

At what age do you think it's appropriate to talk to children about the whale's enormous penis?
Not till they ask about it. I did at 7.

The barstools on Aristotle Onassis' yacht were covered in whale cock skin. (It's rumored that if you rubbed them right, they turned into couches!) If you had a few yards of whale cock skin, what would you cover with it?
I would never. I would rather ice breaker boat and a ak47 RPG and a few motors and sail to the shores off Japan and kill the fucks who kill whales. I would ram whale killers all day with my ship.

Does your whale cock have a name or nickname?
No.

Are you still making homemade pornos?
I used to be a fucking freak, true. Young, insane and hope of glory on every corner. I got ill and I survived and after I got out of the hospital I swore to never do anything to be misogynistic in any shape or form. I as well tried to find a desk job but as u can see my spelling sucks and humans hate that. Being a lefty and dyslexic with a deaf right ear and turrets syndrome is a combo that the most damned do not get. I know there are people out there with it way worse and I hate being emo here but I changed when i got out. Three weeks in a bed will change a man. I never bragged about the video at the time it was more a gag sarcastic joke to get Nieratko back for his jokes on me. Then it blew up in my face and humans from Jeremy Klein to Ed Temp were asking about it. I wish I could delete that part of my life....

Have you learned to stop showing strangers your homemade pornos?
The above should answer this. I never showed anybody except you and the big bro staff. That day in 03.

What's the biggest whale you've slept with weigh in at?
I got a bruised rib once.

What's your technique for harpooning a whale?
Jameson and whiskey to the dome. And keeping in mind condoms are for puss's. No pun intended.

If you could be any animal's cock, what would it be?
Fuck man u r hung up on the cock I need to get u help?

Who do you think has the biggest cock (past or present) in skateboarding?
Lol, i have met so many skater dater chicks who tell story's of who is small who is not bla bla. I hate being drunk at a mini ramp with nothing but chick skaters, they say some evil shit. I will not name drop but if anybody ever hates on me I have a good loaded weapon of info on a ton of cats.

Who do you think is the biggest cock?
JAKE PHELPS. KELLY BIRD, in a funny way. He rules, but can be a dick when he is drunk. And Jake dumbcome. Any photographer who charges by the hour and invoices the mag 5 grand for a dumb nate pic that will never run even if it is free. Oh wait Brian peach is a fucking asshole. Straight up. I will burn all my bridges cause I would rather be on a island having fun than in traffic jams here. You feel me Dave?

If some kid wanted to grow up and be a kook like you, what would you tell him to do?
Have a good fan base on the net. Make sure you have a good day job with medical. Make sure u know skating is a hobby/art, not sport, or a way to profit in any shape or form. Collecting bottle caps is in the same category of nerd ness and we all end up in the dirt so fuck anybody who hates on you. Just live and have fun.

What's the best hate mail you've ever gotten?
“Can I print nater hater tee shirts, I will give u a cut?” I was down the kid never did it.

Do you have any new skate words you can eduskate us with? Dehydraskation is my new one due to my allergies and lack of good water in SD. I am too broke to buy bottled shit….

Send us off with some Sherwood wisdom and eduskation.
If you accept that you suck at life then goals will feel so much more easy to make. If one waits on the river banks long enough he will see the bodys of his sworn enemy's float by. Ask for a paper voting form when u vote. Never make fun of anybody in skating or they might become your TM. Do not trust anybody and save your cash….