Monday, July 09, 2007

The Casino in the Whale

In his childhood and despite his Parents’ objections, Eric enjoyed Whaling with the Negroes well into the wee hours of the morning. Their influence can be seen throughout his long and storied career. He was enamored, for instance, with Casino carpets and insisted that no ship under his charge be without a bright, obnoxiously patterned deck from starboard to port, bow to stern. Being fourth mate, I was given the task before our last voyage of riding into town and securing 400 yards of carpet. The samples Eric provided are shewn below.

Eric ended up disliking this one and used it in the brig.

There are drawings in his journals of the hollowed remains of a sperm whale converted into a casino with this pattern on the floor. "The Jonas Casino" was actually begun on indian land in western Massachussets, but the project was abandoned almost as soon as it began. When asked why the construction of the whale casino was never completed, he replied, "Fifteen tables aint enough to shit on."

He once confided in me when he was in a drunken stupor that this pattern reminded him of his boyhood negro friend Shem. His eyes welled with tears.

Eric said he was fond of this pattern because it made him mad. A condition conducive to whaling. He would often take a bottle of tequila and a sample of this carpet and retire to his cabin for hours. When he emerged, it was best to get out of his way. If you were unfortunate enough to be in his path, there was no torture his twisted mind couldn't imagine inflicting upon your person.

1 comment:

dan plamko said...

is it cool if I understand this garbage?