Tuesday, July 24, 2007

THIS CHARMING BLOG


I hired this dude to write the blog today. love that look.

BILL PEPPER MAKES JUNK

Bloody baby! Yes, washed up, old pro skateboarder Bill Pepper has given birth to Tyler Dean Pepper. Congratulations Bill. That's not womb blood, by the way. That's Jake Phelps' blood. Apparently the li'l fella came flying out of Bill's vagina with fists a-flying and went straight down to the Thrasher offices and gave ole Jake another "pepper spray." Like father like son.


And I call all babies "junk" because, let's face it, babies are ugly. They're just different colored lumps of junk. When they start to look like a little person after a couple years some of them are fortunate enough to qualify as "cute." There are exceptions to the rule, of course, and Mike Mihaly's baby is one of them. I want that hair.


Since Tania and I are getting married, the baby question has come up a few times. Friends have asked the question. Tania and I are clear on our baby views. I, for instance, will regularly say under my breath, "fuckyoubaby," to any baby who happens to be near me. While we both agree that having a baby and watching it shoot poop at us would be funny for a couple years, the idea of it turning into a little brat child and then a teenager makes us puke. babies, yeah, maybe. children, no. teenagers, fuck no. we'd rather spend the money for braces on a trip to the caribbean and get fucked up. this is called FORESIGHT. Tania and I wish more people would use it. (Is that Dennis McGrath?)

YOUR ENGLISH LESSON, SIR
spot the typo:

"King Maximilian I Joseph of Bavaria spared no expense when his son Ludwig married his beloved Theresa of Saxony-Hildburghausen, and held a massive party for 40,000 guests on October 17, 1810. The climax was an 36,000-feet-horse race in a large meadow outside the town."

Because of the placement of the dashes, we have 36,000 foot tall horses racing each other? It probably would have been better to have written, "The climax was a 36,000-foot-long horse race…" Dashes attach words together. Be careful where you place them. Still, I enjoy the image. "They raced across the Atlantic, their hooves pounding the ocean floor while their noses remained safely above the violent waves…”

ERIC NEVADA'S TAPOUT: HAND TO FLUKE COMBAT

Eric Nevada created a number of devices which enabled him to leave the boat and engage a whale face to face.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

way 2 go, bill

Anonymous said...

who's murphy?

The Real Murphy said...

hot dog master!

Anonymous said...

your foresight doesn't go far enough into the future you big twit. use your foresight sensor to see 10 years ahead, when you're both slightly too old to have that baby you hate now, and you realise you've made a big sausage of a life mistake. babies are easy. they cry an' that, but they're easy, and you can chuck them around and make them laugh, they make you feel like you're a successful comedian. nick, uk