Friday, January 26, 2007

Thar She Blows!

welcome to whale cock's news section, aka the cock blog. which is kind of redundant, now that i think about it, because all blogs are cock blogs aren't they? you have to be a real cock to blog. anyway, this is where you will find weekly updates, whale cock news and general nonsense. like this picture of a whale.





you'll also find weekly interviews with pro skaters, pro whalers, pro sailors and other luminaries. our first interview is with mr. naked 540, bill weiss. bill was recently married to his longtime girlfriend jen in las vegas a couple weeks ago. congratulations bill. here is a picture of clyde singleton during the lunch reception giving a shout out to the only two other black people in attendance, kenny and rodney.



WHALECOCK INTERVIEW: BILL WEISS

How high can you ollie/breech?
High as the Donger but not as pretty.

Do you prefer fresh water or salt water?
Fresh, salt makes me a rock lobster.

If you were a marine creature, what would you be?
A male dolphin, that way it would feel like I have two cocks. One down below and one on my face

If you were a whale, what kind of whale would you be?
A Billugah.

Do you enjoy hunting whales?
No

Have you ever eaten whale?
A female whale.

Have you ever caught a fish? What and where?
I caught crabs once, does that count?

When you were fishing, did you and the other fishermen, you know, gay off?
I would rather eat a female whale than play with a longshoreman’s flounder.

Whales enjoy krill. They eat it raw, like sashimi style. What is your favorite way to enjoy krill?
Is Krill the villain on He Man?

At what age do you think it’s appropriate to talk to children about the whale’s enormous penis?
I think that should go hand in hand with the cigarette conversation.

The barstools on Aristotle Onassis’ yacht were covered in whale cock skin. (It’s rumored that if you rubbed them right, they turned into couches!) If you had a few yards of whale cock skin, what would you cover with it?
I would cover my car to have a nice place for seagull shit to land.

If a whale attacked your genital area, but you were able to save one thing, your scrotum or your penis, which would you choose to save? (keep in mind that whatever the whale bites off is going to be flung about and batted around by the whale’s tail in the middle of the ocean.)
I would go with my penis."My balls are dumb long yo" so if he bit them off he would be doing me a favor.

Does your whale cock have a name or nickname?
Meatloaf.

What makes your cock different from other cocks?
It is a dual citizen.

If you could be any animal’s cock, what would it be?
A dogs tube of lipstick.

If you could be any person’s cock, who would it belong to?
Unfortunately Dave Navarro's when he was married to Carmen Electra.

when you do nude 540s, which direction does your cock spin?
Counter cock wise!

Does it give you extra lift, like a helicopter’s propellers?
It has never failed me.

What comes out of your blowhole?
Chipotle.

2 comments:

Samantha said...

at least she blows...but does she swallow?

i think i read a funny doo-doo story of urs once...

madamtrixie.com

Anonymous said...

Hooray! Fat dicks in your mouth all day!